"Count It All Joy:" Part II

Really, it's not.

I'm no stranger to being sick. Therefore, I expected some changes to hit my body as I moved further along in my pregnancy. There was nothing a little ginger ale, soup, and crackers couldn't fix. However, the dehydration, low potassium, low sodium, and 24-hour bucket fest was not something I signed up for as a newly pregnant mom. Hyperemsis Gravidarum (HG) is nothing you can fix with home remedies, back rubs, ginger in it's raw form, or even psyching yourself out. No, the sickness is not in the heads of those who suffer. No, just eating to help you feel better is not the answer. No, drinking this or that is not a quick fix. No, the sufferer can't just go to work with a barf bag, keep calm, and carry on. No. No. NO! Those who have been pregnant and actually dealt with morning sickness offer great advice, but no matter how many times HG is explained, the person with great intentions only seem to unknowingly become offensive. I want to shout out Princess Kate for making HG really public and making sufferers look less crazy. She stamped it for us.

The Life of an HG Sufferer

1. HG often requires multiple hospital visits. For those who suffer on the worst part of the HG scale, in-home care is required.

2. HG often requires medication to treat.
3. HG is so debilitating that taking a shower becomes a luxury.

4. HG has put its sufferers out of work and causes financial hardship.
5. HG can subside, but makes guest appearances throughout the entire pregnancy.
6. HG is famous for massive amounts of weight loss.

7. HG will encourage its suffers to disconnect from family and friends for extended periods of time (it is exhausting trying to explain why you don't look pregnant at seven months even though the baby is perfectly fine).
8. HG mostly affects the mom, not the baby.
9. HG SHOULD NOT BE LEFT UNTREATED. It is a medical condition far worse than morning sickness. You don't just "get over it" or eat and drink your way through it. 
10. HG sufferers need support, not criticism.

BONUS: HG sufferers spit a lot. No, we don't want to risk swallowing it because that will begin another vomit fest. Ptyalism Gravidarum (PG) is gross, and I don't want to talk about it anymore.

My Journey

1. Seven documented visits to the hospital (4 were overnight stays) are in my files. I was in the hospital for my birthday. One of my students saw me looking like the Crypt Keeper. She was kind not to judge me. Her pregnant sister was waiting in the ER as well. Bless my husband, AJ, for the many times he took off work to usher me to the hospital. Being wheel-chaired out of the classroom was not a good look, but I am thankful for my school admin team, school nurse, and co-worker L. Shack, for forcing me to go back to the hospital on two separate occasions. Super friends L and L met AJ and I at the hospital to make sure I was okay. My soror J9 took a shift driving me to the hospital while AJ finished up some work. My line sister, Tamu, drove all the way from Jersey just to make sure I was okay after being admitted the first time. My Aunt T came to visit just before my discharge and took me home. Two more line sisters, Doc and FBI, made home visits after being released from my hospital visits. My girl, Whiting came to help me clean up and throw a load in the laundry because I just couldn't move. Counting it all joy. 

2. I went through four different types of medicine. Zofran (click to read more) is the winner. Yes, I saw the commercials about the law suits. Baby is FINE. Seven months in, I'm still on it, but I'm managing. Still counting it all joy. This is the abridged version with some details left out...too much for anyone one human to read.

3. Thanks to my co-worker, Ms. K.C., I learned to struggle through a shower as she put sheets on the guest room bed for me. I am still counting it all joy.
4. God sustained us because I ran out of leave, and I did not have short-term disability. I did not have a full check from April through May. The first full check was seen in June. One check, for two weeks, was less than $200. Most bills were paid. Still counting it all joy.
5. HG gives me about two strong weeks, then I get sick again--that's with medication and staying hydrated. Counting the joy for the good days.
6. I started my pregnancy weighing 168. At the worst of my HG, I weighed 141 (from March to May). I am holding at about 151 at seven months. Pointing out the fact that HG sufferers lost weight or appear small as a pregnant woman is like shell shock to a vet. Don't "do it for the vine." It kind of sends us back into a dark place. I promise you, we weren't trying to lose the weight. Just ask how we're feeling THAT DAY (every day is different). Again, the baby is fine. Counting it all joy.
7. I disappeared from March to most of May. Texting and FB were my primary means of communication to the world. My fingers worked in between vomiting spells all day. I just started sleeping in my bedroom after five months thanks to a generous gift from Mrs. Standish--a body pillow--and deciding to use a tall trash can beside the bed so I don't mess up the floor. Our bed is really high. Stepping out of the bed still presents a challenge. Those who understood/undetstand my disappearances, thank you. I count you in my joy.
8. The BABY IS FINE!

9. I prayed and prayed and prayed when I was at my wits end. I didn't want to have home-care 1. because I needed to go back to work and 2. because I'm not really good with 24-hour IV and such. My doctor was getting ready to recommend steroid treatment to help me at week 15 of my pregnancy which had birth defect possibilities. Although my symptoms were not 100% gone, there was no need for the next treatment level. However, many of my fellow HG sufferers were not so fortunate and remained on bed rest with in-home care.

10. Without my support system, I would have fallen into a deep depression. I was down and out and feeling worthless, but God and constant reminders to pray and be encouraged from family and friends from Connecticut to Abu Dhabi helped me through this ongoing HG journey (I still have it. It doesn't leave). At the risk of leaving any ONE person out, THANK YOU...yes, you (smile). This could get really long if I named everyone.

AJ, you get your own lines. You have been very patient. You have truly taken the "in sickness and in health" vow to another level. I can't imagine being you with all that has happened in our home beyond me. Thanks for your sacrifice. Love you.

I have three months until B.B. arrives. He's moving, kicking, punching, and doing whatever babies seven months in the womb do. I can't hold all the salt because it is apparently needed during my pregnancy, but I am aware of what still goes into my body.

If you should come in contact with a pregnant woman who suffers from HG, please be mindful in your attempt to support her. It is a very sensitive condition and time for her. She might eat foods or drink beverages you're not used to seeing a pregnant woman consume (coffee, tea, Coca-Cola, etc.). She might not be able to eat much of the fruits and veggies she needs because they trigger the vomiting and she'll have to start her management cycle all over again; a lemon ice pop might be the most she gets as a fruit. She has to consume what is called, "SAFE FOODS." She might sleep the day away because movement is a trigger to sickness. Noises--soft or loud--bother her. Smells that are not "SAFE" trigger vomiting. She might not want to go outside to catch the sunshine because the light and heat may cause her to get sick again. Lastly, please don't assume she doesn't want to be helped or want the delicious meal you prepared to assist her. She can have a food item on Monday and by Wednesday it is the worst thing in the world. Her diet is not consistent. So, if you're annoyed, imagine how she feels not being able to know what she can and cannot eat on a daily basis.

Whatever you're dealing with, whether you are a believer in the Word of God or not, please count the joy you do have during your trials and tribulations. I'm looking forward to hugging B.B. in October of 2015 as my tougH Guy.

Hugs and love,
Yolonda

PS: HG has nothing to do with waiting until later to have a child, being stressed, ethnicity, or other causes that might make sense. It is the GREMLIN of pregnancy conditions after midnight.

"Count It All Joy:" Part I

Painting by Victor Ehikhamenor

Woody Allen quotes what he believes is an old Yiddish saying, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans." I had one plan this year--have a baby. I am pregnant, and it came with more of life happening than I anticipated. As James 1:2 says, in the Bible, I must "count it all joy."

Since 2013, I have had to reduce my sodium intake to avoid a recurrence of the pain associated with my kidney stones. I opted out of the shock wave lithotripsy treatment to resolve my issues. It would affect my plans to have a baby. I didn't want anything messing with any of my organs. With faith and limited odds of getting pregnant, I was able to seek out fertility treatments and things worked out for me.

The process of getting pregnant was the least of my concerns. Each significant step in the process fell on a loved one's birthday. More importantly, I knew before having the blood test done that I was pregnant. The evening of his birthday, my husband put up one of my favorite pieces of art by Nigerian artist Victor Ehikhamenor. It was a fertility piece. Coincidentally, my husband, sister-in-law--K--, and the artist share the same birthday. I bought the painting in 2005 and remember telling Victor that it was going to give me hope of one day becoming a mother. As joy filled in my heart at the mere thought of our lives changing forever, I had to contain myself until I took a blood test.

The very next morning, my mother-in-law's birthday, I took the official pregnancy test at my local Shady Grove Fertility center, Dr. Kipersztock and his staff were my cheering squad since we started in 2011--survived multiple surgeries, repeat blood work, constant monitoring, etc. etc. I knew that I would get a call later in the afternoon to confirm the results. Life seemed to be on the slow motion setting while at work. It was just after lunch while I was grading papers when Nurse Sarah called.

"Hi, Yolonda! It's Sarah." I could hear her smile through the phone. She beamed as my heart celebrated in advance.

"Hi! I was waiting on your call," I said.

"Your test results came back, and you are definitely pregnant!"

The crowd in my head had to be contained because I wanted my husband to be the first to know. I had four hours to hold in the news. I just hoped he would be home and things would go according to plan. Again, God laughed. My husband was not home, so I had to track him down before heading to a book fair to meet my cousins, T and T, who I was anxious to tell.


"Where are you," I asked my husband while masking my excitement. I'm a bad liar, so I had to try really hard.

"Headed to Home Depot," he said.

I stopped in the house to speak to my father-in-law and then proceeded to do something I was often told NOT to do--I chased my man. Time was not on my side. I called my husband back to monitor his movements. I was starting to sound a little suspect when he revealed he was heading to a new location.

Anyone who has ever been in a car with me know that I received my license from Turtle Inc, LLC. On this day, I broke some laws trying to get to my husband. I could not contain the news until I got back from meeting my cousins. My law breaking proved successful as I was able to catch my husband leaving the parking lot of the store.

Beep! Beep! I honked my horn like a goose on a wild chase. He pulled over in the lot across from the store. My husband's expression was less than enthused as he didn't understand why I was the crazy stalker lady coming after him.

After greeting him with a card, I stood and waited with joyful anticipation. It was a congratulations card and revealed that he would be a father. With God on our side, we had beat the odds. We beat them pretty badly, too. With less than 1% chance of getting pregnant with one form of treatment, one fallopian tube, endometriosis, fibroids in my uterus, a bi-lateral ovarian cysectomy, a 16% chance of having any eggs retrieved when trying In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), and a 46% chance of having a live birth after three (3) cycles of IVF, we hit the jackpot on the first go.

Everything went smoothly for nearly a month. By a month, I mean a month minus two days. I barely felt any signs of pregnancy. If I had not seen the baby's heart beat on my grandmother and cousin M's birthday, I would think B.B.--a name my friend, Bronze Diva, and I co-founded for the baby--was a hoax. Sure enough, on March 18, 2015, all joy flew out the window into an abyss of darkness. I was excited to experience morning sickness until it was no longer cute and I made my first of several moments in the hosipital. Thus, the beginning of a condition that would later force all efforts of holding the salt or consuming any food or beverage to come to an halt. Enter stage left: HYPEREMESIS GRAVIDARUM. To be continued...

Cook at Home

Don't let the picture fool you. This is not what I ate. In fact, mine had vegetables in it. The outcome just wasn't as selfie-friendly. However, it was darn good. I cooked at home.

It has been quite a while since I've been on the campaign trail with Hold the Salt. I mostly regret it because these blogs hold me accountable. One cheat day turned into multiple cheat days. I fell off the horse by not watching EVERYTHING I ate, but I compensated for my failure by continuing to drink my water. The good news: I've been watching my sodium intake well enough that I have kept myself out of the hospital, and there have been no recurring attacks from the five kidney stones that still live inside my body (going on 2 years in March).

A new chapter in my life is beginning to open, so I have to be more diligent about what goes into my body. That said, I was reminded of my family's inherited fight with kidney issues. I had conversations with family from as close as 15 minutes away in the next county to as far as 9 hours away in Abu Dhabi about our family's kidney failure history. As I stopped the tears from the latest health news in my family to thinking about Grandma's passing due to so many health complications, it was no question how my future meals would be prepared--COOKED AT HOME the majority of the time (at least five times per week for all meals).

Now back to the picture above...

I love IHOP's corned beef hash omelette with three pancakes on the side. I used to live for the day someone asked, "Wanna go to IHOP?" Duh?! It was a no brainer what I was going to order. Well, since 2012, I've only been able to eat half that order. Even still, that meal, alone, has a sodium intake of 3,630. Yeh...smh. It's about two plus days worth of the intake for colored girls who considered food suicide when bacon and eggs weren't enough (toasts Ntozake Shange, now sips water--both me and my dog, Kobe).  Instead of going into a sodium coma, this morning, I decided to create a breakfast as equally satisfying and cutting the intake down by 2,850 mg. (I also cut out the pancakes); It can be done without ANY salt added.

Here you go:

1/2 cup of Corned Beef Hash (410 mg.)
2 eggs (180 mg.)
1/4 cup of mild cheddar (170 mg.)
Saute the following raw veggies in olive oil:
1 cup of spinach (16 mg.)
.33 ounces of chopped onions (6 mg.)
.33 ounces. of tomatoes (6 mg.)
.33 ounces. of mushrooms (4 mg.)

Cook the corned beef in olive oil. Set to the side. Saute the veggies. Pour your eggs (beat before pouring) over the veggies. Add the corned beef. Flip again. Add your cheddar and tomatoes. Enjoy.

You may have your own version of making an omelette. I'm just sharing mine. Have fun with the ingredients and drink your water. I'll check back with my progress as I get back on the wagon...again.

SINGING: "WE FALL DOWN, BUT WE GET UP!"

Love y'all!

-Y